The Best Things in Space Ain’t Free

The moon belongs to billionaires--
The best things in space ain’t free.
The stars are toys for zillionaires
They’re not there for you and me.
There’ll soon be a place
Way out there in space
Where lasers can zap
the whole damn map
The sky’s our brand new battleground--
The best things in space ain’t free.

There’s gold, they say, on asteroids--
The best things in space ain’t free.
If there’s a cure for hemorrhoids,
It’s prob’ly on Mercury.
The planet that shines
so pure and so fine
Will soon be a sad uranium mine--
And this is what our taxes buy--
The best things in space ain’t free.

FLY THEM TO THE MOON, AND LET THEM SAIL AMONG THE STARS--
THEY’VE GOT STOCK IN PLUTO, AND IN JUPITER AND MARS.
IN OTHER WORDS, WE ARE SCREWED!
IN OTHER WORDS, WE’VE GOT TO STOP THEM!

They want to steal my sky from me,
My heaven of boundless blue
They’ve trashed it up with space debris,
Yeah, somebody oughta sue!
The poets can’t write of stars in the night,
The Pentagon’s got the copyright,
SO LET’S TAKE BACK OUR UNIVERSE!
THE BEST THINGS IN SPACE ARE FREE!

(To the tune of “The Best Things in Life are Free.� by BG DeSylva. Lew Brown and Ray Henderson; updated lyrics by Jan Harwood)