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Sorry, Everybody

The people, teddie bears, bunnies, and dollies of Santa Cruz, California, are very sorry that our city council's vote to impeach Bush did not carry more weight.....
The people, teddie bears, bunnies, and dollies of Santa Cruz, California, are very sorry that our city council's vote to impeach Bush did not carry more weight.....

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Re: Sorry, Everybody

Certainly a pity, now the city council will have to return to the unimportant activity of running the city (into the ground). :)

Re: Sorry, Everybody
From Cleveland's Free Times:

Look on the bright side!
75 GOODthings about another Bush Administration!
By Ron Kretsch, Joshua Greene, Michael Gill, Pamela Zoslov and Jake
Wednesday, November 10, 2004

SO YOU'RE A DISAPPOINTED, dejected, dispirited and demoralized Democrat
whose candidate lost the election. Maybe you can't quite understand why
high voter turnout and exit polls favoring John Kerry turned into a
swift, “decisive? electoral victory for Bush. Maybe you read an article
by some troublemaker (such as Greg Palast, “Kerry Won,? at implying that something's
amiss in Ohio and the country's electoral system. Or you're just plain
scared about what lies ahead in the second administration of George W.
Bush. More tax cuts for the rich, a bigger deficit, more unemployment,
more pillaging of the environment, more bloodshed in Iraq?
Like Bill Clinton, we feel your pain. But we also want to help you, the
marginalized progressive, embrace the inevitable. The fix is in, the
die is cast, so you might as well turn that frown upside down and make
the best of it. To help you forget your troubles, the Free Times
provides the following list of 75 GOOD THINGS to look forward to during
the next four years. Enjoy!

Church and state will cease to be burdened by painful separation.

The rise of the Amish as a political demographic will result in
pork-barrel subsidies, making quaintly charming, durable quilts
affordable to the working poor, and resulting in a much higher grade of
welfare cheese.

Fans of George Orwell will have a grand time playing
“spot-the-veiled-reference? in the names of legislative initiatives
(e.g. “Healthy Forests? and “Clear Skies? initiatives). Next: “No Voter
Left Uncounted.?

New generations will learn how to fight for collective bargaining and
reproductive rights.

More strife on the streets + fewer cops = WAY better drugs will be
cheap and plentiful.

The prison-building boom will continue, making “three hots and a cot?
readily available to all impoverished Americans willing to commit
crimes, like, say, disagreeing with the government.

Mental retardation will finally be wiped out, the quick, easy,
lethal-injection way pioneered by the visionary scientists of the great
state of Texas.

The erosion of labor protections will put us in prime shape to compete
with Third World sweatshops.

Job opportunities galore in Riyadh, Tikrit, Kabul, Baghdad, Tehran…

Mexico will finally take care of the problem of porous borders, sealing
off the Rio Grande to keep Americans from crossing south in an attempt
to get their old jobs back.

After four years of Bush, Cleveland is already the poorest city in the
USA. With four more years, we've got a real shot at number one in the
industrialized WORLD!!! Woo hoo! In your FACE, Detroit!

We'll finally get universal health care without tax increases, thanks
to a faith-based initiative from the Christian Scientists.

More health care: mandatory antidepressants for Democrats, Greens, and
eventually even moderates. Bonus: pharmaceutical stocks will soar ever
higher, boosting the economy for at least a couple of guys.

A sharply sinking dollar will finally give France, Germany and other
Euro-using former allies a reason to be happy about the U.S. again.

More Americans will learn to embrace foreign cultures when they
emigrate back to the countries their grandparents came from.

Out-of-reach fuel prices mean less time wasted looking for parking

The “Creative Class? will get a huge shot in the arm due to massive
demand for Ten Commandments monuments, the robing of nude and semi-nude
statues and paintings, and retouching the capitalists in Diego Rivera
murals to make them look friendlier.

Delicious irony in “Thou Shalt Not Kill? being posted in Congress and
the White House.

By executive order, the Sun will once again officially revolve around
the Earth, saving wear-and-tear on the planet.

More Middle Eastern theocracies and dictatorships will be given the
sweet, sweet freedom to vote for an American puppet leader.

The success of gay marriage bans will introduce a wave of new
initiatives to outlaw stuff that's already not legal to begin with,
keeping right-wing legislators too busy to conjure up more Patriot

Ken Lay will now surely qualify for a pardon, leaving him free to start
a new company to provide glorious new jobs for Americans … and
Singaporeans, Bangladeshis, Filipinos…

We're safe from those scary wolves on TV!

In fact, we'll be safe from any threat posed by just about ALL wildlife.

More assault weapons + fewer cops = totally badass reality TV.

The “New Deal? is actually several decades old! We'll finally give it a
nice vacation.

The threat of the draft could make America's high school students more
studious in competition for college deferments, narrowing our education
gap with the rest of the civilized world.

The return of unlicensed back-alley abortionists will create
competition in the medical field, bringing costs down for everyone!

New White House Press Secretary Ann Coulter will keep news conferences
interesting with hilariously insane statements and above-the-knee

Safety cuts will cause the return of neighborhood-based vigilante gang
policing, returning the sense of community that many American cities
have lost.

Now that the American left has been administered an electoral
smackdown, we may finally get to see if Bill O'Reilly has anything to
say besides “shut up? and “hey, where's the falafel — I'm horny.?

A weak dollar and fewer jobs mean less money. Less money means fewer
possessions. Freeing one's self of the burden of material things is the
first step on the path to enlightenment.

Betting pool: will “Star Wars? missile defense come out before Star
Wars: The Revenge of the Sith?

Toxin-enhanced, monster sized rats are goooooood eatin'! Try ‘em with
sautéed bark.

Coin collectors and consumers alike will welcome the new 1/2- and
1/4-pennies, embossed with the likenesses of President-for-Life George
W. Bush and Vice President-for-Life Rick Santorum (to be appointed when
Cheney's heart finally gives out).

Increased funding for natural history museums, so we can all learn
about how dinosaur fossils were planted by Satan.

Adventurous Americans, especially those who take advantage of the newly
relaxed gun laws, will learn more creative means of property

Mad Cow Disease is a non-issue when no one can afford beef anyway.

In the event that any of our soldiers return, their inability to find
work will ensure them the long break they've inarguably earned.

Crappy local news broadcasts will become infinitely cooler as they
start to look more and more like Mel Gibson's cult classic The Road

Displaced laborers are easily retrained as union-busting goons.

Inner-city devastation and brownfield fires will free up land for the
struggling agriculture sector.

More invasions make no difference; we've always been at war with

With Al Gore declining to run, Joe Lieberman being a nonentity in the
primaries, and Tom Daschle losing his Senate seat, the end is in sight
for the Quislings in the Democratic Leadership Council.

With homelessness on the rise in northern industrial cities, Democratic
voters will migrate south for warmer outdoor living, turning some of
those red states blue.

The Stalinization of history to mask the fact that liberals ended the
Great Depression and won WWII will keep paychecks flowing to lucky
fiction writers for years.

By staying in Iraq until “the job? is done, we'll have the luxury of
time to figure out what “the job? is.

New education reforms will guarantee that all of America's children are
equally fluent in Arabic.

Extra limbs on mutant livestock will stretch your grocery dollar.

You can expand your lefty library with Michael Moore's Stupid White
Ohio , Al Franken's Ohio is a Big Fat Idiot and Molly Ivins' Who Let
Ohio In ?

As environmental mercury levels rise, we'll all turn into thermometers!

The effective disenfranchisement of Congressional Democrats will ensure
that they always show up for work relaxed and refreshed.

Air pollution actually does help create especially colorful sunsets.

If the World Bank forecloses on the U.S., we'll be treated to the
amusing sight of suits working together with unionists and college
stoners at WTO and IMF protests.

Innovative new Social Security plan: more Wal Marts = more jobs for
elderly greeters.

Now that it's obvious to the world that slightly more than half of us
are completely fucking insane, maybe Canada will let the blue states
secede and become provinces.

The last several years' boom in SUV sales will start to look less and
less stupid as it becomes desirable to have a vehicle your whole family
can live in.

The Northeast Ohio Coalition for the Homeless will become an incredibly
potent entity when it represents more than half of Cleveland's

Smart investors who buy into yellow- ribbon futures NOW will likely
avoid the more devastating effects of economic depression.

One word: Condoleezzagate!

Local media will go crazy as Ohio Secretary of State Kenneth Blackwell
undergoes extreme makeover to better resemble his role model, Katherine

New exhibit at Hale Farm, right between candle-dipping and
sheep-shearing, called “Voting? — a fond and funny look back at the
olden days, when votes were actually counted rather than fed to the
nearest shredder.

Time saved on reading, unless you're interested in thousands more
hand-wringing articles on “What's Wrong with the Democrats??

More equal rights — for corporations. Corporate personhood will now
allow companies to hold elective office. Make way for President
Halliburton and Vice President Diebold!

Closer ties with Mother England as the U.S. continues its return to
hereditary monarchy. Tally-ho!

Plenty of time for Bill Maher, Jon Stewart and Al Franken to come up
with Beverly Hillbillies -inspired riffs on “President Jeb.?

New education initiative will mandate the revival of literacy tests at
the polls. Remember, reading is FUNdamental!

Shredded, uncounted Kerry ballots will make colorful confetti for
coronation, er, inauguration of George II.

We're spared four years of ketchup and pickle jokes.

It goes without saying that tavern owners will prosper.

As the educational system deteriorates, frazzled parents can rest
assured that willful children will no longer “get smart? or “crack

Live out your favorite cinematic clichés while standing around an oil
drum fire, asking a brother to spare a dime and carrying all your
belongings in a bindle.

“Girly-men? will remain the wildly popular rebuke America can't get
enough of.

President Bush will keep his promise that here will not be a draft.
Mandatory military service for all eligible18 year olds isn't the same
thing as a draft.

It's just so much easier to let George have his way. Why fight it? Your
eyelids are getting heavy. Sleep. Sleep. Tomorrow's another episode of

Re: Sorry, Everybody

while I appreciate the sentiment many of the entries are quite naive.

"we'll get them next time" does nothing for those who will be dead next time. BTW we might all be dead by next time. Apparently there has been cleric approval for OBL do do the nasty to US.

doomsday prophesy

well we're all gonna be dead after December 21, 2012 anyhow, so just be glad the divition was true for once


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