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Dolphin-Safe Tunes

Dolphin-Safe Tunes


by Nuz

The best part of meetings run by street
performers? They use drum rolls instead
of polite coughs to change topic.
That’s at least what street performer
Coleen Douglas did at an interactive
meeting aimed at bringing all downtown
stakeholders - merchants, hosts,
residents, government officials,
downtown commissioners, police and
street performers - together to work on
creating a downtown that feels good,
safe and friendly.
But while participants wrote comments
from all perspectives, there were no
police, downtown hosts or merchants
present, which led to Nuz witnessing
one of 2003’s most surreal scenes to
date: gadfly Robert Norse writing from
the point of view of a cop (hey, isn’t it
illegal to impersonate a police officer?).

Asked to write from the POV of a
guvmint official, Nuz noted that since
performers cause less than 1 percent of
all problems downtown, we would not
want to pass laws that cause more than
1 percent of all problems before council.
Kathy Bisbee, who is on the Downtown
Comish as well as being Cruzio’s
marketing director, hopes to post all the
comments at, a new
Cruzio-hosted website that should be up
by the end of the month.

Meanwhile, performers are uniformly
frustrated at the time and space
restrictions set to come into effect Jan.
15, which, btw, is the actual birthday of
Martin Luther King Jr.
“Whether it’s 14 feet or 10 feet doesn’t
change the fact that we’ll still be at the
curb and playing towards the stores,”
says accordion player Julio Morgani.
“We the street performers are the
dolphins caught in the tuna net of
ordinances. How can we cut the net
open, so the dolphins can escape, but
not the tuna?”
We’re not exactly sure, Morgani, but we
have heard rumors that performers will
either boycott downtown entirely or
organize a massive “play-in” until the
drumming dolphins can swim free again.

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