As visiting inspector from the French surete, I have been called in to carefully examine the evidence for racism in this questionable skit.

I shall be questioning this so-called Y Swami Y, the endlessly inappropriate Norse, and any confederates involved.

This vicious attempt to mock a much-needed hotel development is another attempt to smear a much-respected group of legislators, merchants, and humanitarians.

I suspect everyone...and no one.

I shall announce the results of my preliminary investigation shortly and let the chips fall where they may.

In the meantime, for those concerned about avoiding an unintentional repetition of this unfortunate situation, I have alert colleagues in the Academy of Languages in Paris to forward some appropriate non-racist guidelines for using accents.

These experienced linguists will also be consulting with former Mayor Timothy Fitzmaurice, who so presciently led the walkout on this disgraceful hate speech at the Santa Cruz City Council meeting on January 19. Mr. Fitzmaurice has had much useful experience setting up "decorum" guidelines at City Council and his assistance will be valued.

We must stamp out misguided humor from abusive humorists whose unwitting witticisms mislead our fellow citizens to laugh at completely inappropriate moments. I urge citizens to be on the alert for questionable comedy of any sort; please report such unseemly incidents immediately to local authorities.

I salute those who have directed my attention to this matter. When this investigation is over, smirking satirists with unacceptable accents may well be grimacing out of the other side of their faces.

Let us stamp out this menace before infects our young people.

Jacques Closeau
French Surite
1883 Rue Pink Panther
Paris, France